17 and lives off fries

fake-mermaid:

intensional:

i left the house today to hang out with my friends and 3 of my family members just texted me saying “wow you left the house :o”

image

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drarna:

i may not be your cup of tea but i’m your 10th shot of tequila

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octobra:

sorry mom you’ve hit ask limit

(Source: youtubeofficial, via best-of-text-posts)

thearcflash:

caseyanthonyofficial:

If the US wins the world cup yall have to start calling it soccer

If the US wins the World Cup it means every other team dropped out

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70,791 notes
148,247 notes

sollux:

the best part about blogging is that no one actually knows if youre naked or not

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buttlicked:

DO IT FOR THE VINE. Please save my grape vines I am a farmer and this my only income.

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nyehs:

pizzaforpresident:

pizzaforpresident:

L is for the Letter L

O is for the Omelette in my sheets

V is very very 

Egg

i don’t remember making this post

please try harder to be funny

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sadnessandpuns:

On my tombstone please write “Not appreciating my puns when I was alive was a grave mistake”

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sceptre:

if you didnt take a picture of your starbucks did you really have starbucks

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fuckoffcats:

there are mean parents and then there are parents who switch off the wifi at night 

(Source: strocka, via best-of-text-posts)

homosassy:

the dumbest thing is when parents say “this isnt how i raised you” like ?????? yes it really is you literally raised me and here i am

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sexspose:

when your parents try to make a joke in front of your friends more than once

image

(Source: vensu, via best-of-text-posts)

spork:

when there’s a group of your friends hanging out and youre like trying to join the conversation but dont know howimage

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